嗯，这是一只黑色文胸所引发的……
今天给我们投稿的呢，是一枚瑞士的年轻姑娘。
瑞士妹子来到上海，起初也被部分魔都人民直接把衣裤晾在窗外的景象给吓着了——不过很快她也就淡定了。
最近，在春天漫长的雨季过后，天空终于放了晴。于是，瑞士妹子也学着她的中国邻居们，准备把衣服拿出来晒一晒……
结果，风一吹，她最爱的黑色文胸居然掉到了邻居家的屋顶上……
妹子囧囧有神地去邻居家捡，尴尬的事情就此发生……
来听听她的回忆和吐槽吧——
Katrin Büchenbacher, Switzerland
洗晒的内衣不见了，得爬到邻居家的屋顶上去找，也是心醉……好吧，春季潮湿，大家都不容易。说到晒衣服，上海人的画风时酱紫的：一扇朝南的窗户，外面支几根竿子或者拉几条线伸出去，各种衣服挂在上面随风飞舞。的确，当太阳终于自天空露脸，将阴暗潮湿一扫而空，我也想给自己的衣服晒晒太阳、呼吸呼吸新鲜空气呀。
I had to climb on my neighbor’s rooftop to reclaim my lost underwear. It was the spring weather that put me in that uneasy situation. In Shanghai, people dry their freshly washed linen outside a south-facing window on long flagpole-like rods. As the spring sun is finally making itself seen after a long, gray, damp winter, I thought I should give my own laundry a little fresh-air and sunshine.
我买了一些大的塑料衣架，呃……这玩意看起来不太像晒衣服的，倒更像重口味SM片里的情趣用品
。讲真，这夹子真是有蛮大，感觉哪怕你5岁的小孩闹得你心烦了，你都可以随手拿着夹子把他拎出去自挂东南枝似的。好吧，反正我要开始晒衣服了，结果说时迟那时快，我的黑色文胸果断选择狗带——它就这么从6楼飞身一跃，直接跳到了别人家门口的屋顶上！好吧，这好歹是我最喜欢的文胸了，既然弃之不忍，那就只好去找邻居要回来了……
I bought some big plastic clothes clips that look more like BDSM torture instruments than a household tool. Seriously, they are so big you could probably use them to hang out your 5-year-old when he gets on your nerves. Anyway, as I started to hang out my clothes, my black bra decided it wanted to suicide jump six floors down onto the roof of someone’s porch. Since it was my favorite bra, I had no choice but to ring that resident’s doorbell.
一个看起来蛮和蔼的老太太开门了。“您好~我是住楼上的。我有件衣服刚才掉到您屋顶上了，我可以去看一下吗？”我刚一走进屋，老太太的儿子就从厨房里走了出来：“什么衣服啊？”我有点囧了，还在纠结该怎么回答才好呢，这个汉子又问了一句：“对了，你的房子多少钱租的啊？”
A friendly-looking grandpa opened the door. “Hello, I’m your neighbor. A piece of clothing just fell down on your roof. Do you mind if I take a look?” As I entered the apartment, grandpa’s adult son appeared from the kitchen. “What kind of clothing?” he asked. I blushed in embarrassment, unaware that a more awkward question was yet to come: “And how much rent do you pay for your apartment?”
当时，我对这个问题倒也没觉得太膈应。可事后回想起来，为什么一个完完全全的陌生人会对我花了多少钱租房子感兴趣呢？或许有些就是好奇宝宝，管你是中国人还是老外，只要引起了他们兴趣，都想去一探究竟吧？
At that moment the inquisitive question caught me off guard, but looking back, I should not have been so surprised that a complete stranger wanted to know how much I spent on my rent. In China, some people do not hesitate to satisfy their immediate curiosity, regardless of whether their object of study is a local or a foreigner.
我的中文老师来自安徽。她告诉我，北方人挺喜欢打听东加长西家短的。比如她的一个北方同事，才第一次见面就问她有没有结婚啊，有几个小孩啊之类的。老师一说自己还没有孩子，对方跟个居委会大妈似的各种“出谋划策”：哎哟，还没孩子啊？那你得赶紧了！
My Chinese teacher from Anhui Province said that northerners are particularly nosy. Her northeastern workmate, upon their first encounter, did not shy away from questioning her if she was married and how many kids she had. Answering that she didn’t have any, my teacher then had to listen to all sorts of unsolicited advice. “No children? You should hurry up!”
如果见到的是个老外呢，中国人的好奇心就更加高涨了。寒暄必问“你来自哪里？”，而我一个法国小伙伴因为中文很棒，还被人怀疑过是不是中国人。就因为这样，很多人自动给她套上了个“长得奇怪的中国人”形象。
However, Chinese are especially curious when they see a foreign face. Conversations invariably start with “where do you come from?” My friend Chloe from France was once asked if she was Chinese, maybe because she speaks the local language perfectly. Therefore, many people presumed, she must be a “strange-looking Chinese.”
当你回答完你来自哪里，有些中国人就会自动把你的国家和一些刻板印象挂上钩。我有个英裔德国小伙伴，就曾被人问“是不是西方人天天吃汉堡啊？”至于我自己呢，作为一枚瑞士妹子，也被问过“天天吃芝士你们不会发胖吗”这类的问题。
After they assign their object of study to a place of reference, some Chinese like to follow-up with a few probing questions to confirm common stereotypes about that location. My British-German friend Laura was asked: “Do you Westerners eat hamburgers every day?” As a Swiss girl, I usually am asked: “If you eat so much cheese every day, doesn’t that make you fat?”
至于“找文胸”这档子事儿，我的对策也是简单粗暴：直接说“我得去把内衣捡回来哈~”，飞快转移这个邻居的注意力，这样他应该就会忘记刚才问我房租的事了吧……我挪到他们窗边，看到我心爱的文胸果然掉在屋顶上。老太太的儿子又露出了迷之微笑，估计看这个窗户被栏杆挡住了，我没办法直接够到文胸吧！不过呢，姐还是非常淡定地走出了他们家，直接从院子里爬上了屋顶。终于，我总算是拿回了文胸，还举着向那家人嘚瑟地挥了挥——嗯，他俩现在还在窗户后面瞅着我呢！
For my bra situation, the solution was obvious. “I need to get back my underwear,” I said quickly, distracting my nosy neighbors from the fact that I was ignoring their question about my rent. I shoved my way to their window, scanned the roof and there it was: my beloved bra. Grandpa’s son grinned gloatingly, because the window was blocked by prison-like bars, preventing me access to the roof. But I knew what to do. I ran back outside and climbed up on the roof from their yard. When I finally held the lace brassiere in my hands, like a victory trophy I triumphantly waved to the family still staring at me from behind their window.
其实啊，他们问我房租，我还真不怎么介意。在中国，在社会变化日新月异的今天，了解可靠信息的一个最有效的办法，就是直接去问相关的当事人。更何况，相比起所有陌生人都冷漠相对、互不交流，我还是更喜欢人与人之间更“热络”一点儿。哪怕因此得回答些奇奇怪怪的问题，倒也无所谓啦。
I actually didn’t mind them asking me about my rent. I know that in a society that is changing so fast like China’s, directly asking people something can be the most efficient channel to obtaining trustworthy information. In the end, I prefer having to answer awkward questions than living in a society where people don’t interact at all with strangers.
原文：Katrin Büchenbacher
翻译：lanlan
图：Chen Xia、网络
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